I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
