hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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