I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he fucked my hip out of place.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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