My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you never un-have a 4some
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
