I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
