dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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