I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
