my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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