There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
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If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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