"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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