Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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