paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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