I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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