Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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