at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
