"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
are you so shy because you have an std?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
