My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
