last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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