I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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