Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize