Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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