Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
