I think I died a long time ago.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
