I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
