I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
