Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
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Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
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He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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