the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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