Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
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The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
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Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
wow bdsm is so cute
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