I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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