please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
