My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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