how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
