And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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