Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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