I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
