had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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