While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i believe in u and ur pee
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