Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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