Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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