idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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