he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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