remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
