On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
