This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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