I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
