"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize