So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize