Swine flu is the new snow day.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
