You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
