Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
