I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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