I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize