I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
