Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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