I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
