let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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