Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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