Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
