We're facebook friends in real life
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
