Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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