i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
