New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
