i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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